My sheets look like a crime scene.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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