"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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