Christians are straight up FREAKS
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
