Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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