you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize