whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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