my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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