ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
