You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You took a bar mat shot.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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