dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
