cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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