We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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