Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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