Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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