'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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