omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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