from now on my penis is your penis
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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