I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
