On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
