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I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
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