And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
