He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
