All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
