is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it's like heaven, but drunker
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
