you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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