dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
