I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
