i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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