I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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