Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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