so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
