i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
soo... how was my night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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