drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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