Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
