Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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