Nicole vs. Life
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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