No awkward lesbian experiences without me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
