I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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