he shaved USA in his pubs
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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