how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
