So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
