you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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