Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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