I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
