god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
