I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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