Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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