I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
