tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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