he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
