Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
