come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
