I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize