Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
