Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
