bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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